Hawaiian Driver's License

"Talk Story" "Talk Story" is as much a part of Hawaiian culture as the hula and surfing are. Taking time to share a part of your life and a little laughter helps keep everything in perspective. We hope you enjoy our stories. Read a funny story here, and you will be hooked! More in the links to the left...

…...Hawaiian Driver's License Application

You think its easy living in paradise? Take a close look at how tough it is just to get a drivers license!

HAWAIIAN DRIVERS LICENSE APPLICATION

Please try fo complete dis as bes as you can. You get 30 days for pau.

Las name:
_________________________________________
[If your las name no fit, continue on da other side da page.]

First name:
[ ] Junior
[ ] Junior Boy
[ ] J.B. (short for Jr. Boy)
[ ] Honey Girl
[ ] Tita
[ ] Sista
[ ] Bradda
[ ] Sista-Girl

What year you wen grad: ____ (if unsure, try guess)

Sex: [ ]M [ ]F [ ]Mahu [ ]None

Slippa size: ____ Left ____ Right

Weight:
[ ]Small kine
[ ] Mejum
[ ] Small kine big
[ ] Momona

Eyes:
[ ] Blind as one bat
[ ] Bad, but not dat bad
[ ] She go!
[ ] Black and Blue

Occupation:
[ ] Construction worka
[ ] Sanitation Engineer
[ ] Surfa
[ ] Lei greeter
[ ] Waitress
[ ] Stripper
[ ] Un-employed
[ ] Bishop Estate Trustee

Spouse's Name: ______________________________

2nd Spouse's Name: ______________________________

3rd Spouse's Name: ______________________________

Lover's Name: ______________________________

2nd Lover's Name: ______________________________

Nationality:
[ ] Hawaiian
[ ] Popolo
[ ] Japanese
[ ] Filipino
[ ] Haole
[ ] Portagee if yes; explain why:
[ ] Pake if yes; explain why:
[ ] All da above

Numba of children living in household: ______

Numba of children living in your household das
not yours: _____

Numba of children thats buming off of you das
over 23 years old: _______

Mother's Name: _______________________(Relation__________)
Father's Name: _______________________(Relation__________)

Edumacation: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)

If you obtained one higher edumacation what was your major?
[ ] 5th grade
[ ] 6th grade

Cawheelas you own and where dey stay:________________

___ Total number of cawheelas you own
___ Numba of cawheelas that still crank ova
___ Numba of cawheelas wit rust
___ Numba of cawheelas no mo rust
___ Numba of cawheelas on cement blocks
___ Numba of cawheelas stay held together with duct tape.

Age you started fo drive ______ (If over 10 slow learner?)
[ ]Yes [ ]No

Do you have a surf rack? [ ] Yes [ ] No; If no, try explain:

Color of teeth:
[ ] Yellow [ ] Brownish-Yellow
[ ] Brown [ ] Black
[ ] N/A

How far is your home from a paved road?
[ ] 1 miles
[ ] 2 miles
[ ] don't know

Distance between you and da beach? ______

Do you live on beach front property but you don't own a house or the land?
___ Yes

Try explain:
How many times have you gotten away with a DUI this year
because you were related to da policeman? ____

How much pakalolo do you smoke a day?
[ ] 1 joint [ ] 2 joints [ ] would smoke but cost more den gold.

How much beer do you drink a day?
[ ] 6 pack [ ] 12 pack [ ] 18 pack [ ] case

How do you know that you had too much to drink?
[ ] You fall out da car when da policeman opens da ca door.
[ ] Da keg is empty.
[ ] You Haole but your eyes look like de from one Japanese.
[ ] Last time you went bathroom da toilet wen ovahflo.
[ ] All of the above.

You tired walk and carry your surfboard all da way back and forth every day?
___ Yes

You like get one wallet so you can put da driver license inside for impress your friends?
___ Yes ___ No ___ Always

You promise fo drive straight and smile to all da ada drivers and no fool around and make funny kine in da car?
___ Yes ___ No ___ Why

Sign Hea:____________________________

 

Read many more very good stories at the links above!.

talk-story

talk storySharing, laughing, remembering....

Talk Story Bookstore

talk story bookstoreTalk Story bookstore in the town of Hanapepe on the Hawaiian island of Kauai. Talk Story is actually the western-most bookstore in the United States, a fact the owner proudly shares with visitors along with a hearty helping of aloha spirit.

Talk Story is where Old Yoshiura Store used to be, and specializes in used, rare, and collectible books. Visit online! Talk Story