"Talk Story" "Talk Story" is as much a part of Hawaiian culture as the hula and surfing are. Taking time to share a part of your life and a little laughter helps keep everything in perspective. We hope you enjoy our stories. Read a funny story here, and you will be hooked! More in the links to the left...
You
think its easy living in paradise? Take a close
look at how tough it is just to get a drivers
license!
HAWAIIAN DRIVERS LICENSE
APPLICATION
Please try fo complete dis as bes
as you can. You get 30 days for pau.
Las name:
_________________________________________
[If your las name no fit, continue on da other
side da page.]
First name:
[ ] Junior
[ ] Junior Boy
[ ] J.B. (short for Jr. Boy)
[ ] Honey Girl
[ ] Tita
[ ] Sista
[ ] Bradda
[ ] Sista-Girl
What year you wen grad: ____ (if unsure, try
guess)
Sex: [ ]M [ ]F [ ]Mahu [ ]None
Slippa size: ____ Left ____ Right
Weight:
[ ]Small kine
[ ] Mejum
[ ] Small kine big
[ ] Momona
Eyes:
[ ] Blind as one bat
[ ] Bad, but not dat bad
[ ] She go!
[ ] Black and Blue
Occupation:
[ ] Construction worka
[ ] Sanitation Engineer
[ ] Surfa
[ ] Lei greeter
[ ] Waitress
[ ] Stripper
[ ] Un-employed
[ ] Bishop Estate Trustee
Spouse's Name: ______________________________
2nd Spouse's Name: ______________________________
3rd Spouse's Name: ______________________________
Lover's Name: ______________________________
2nd Lover's Name: ______________________________
Nationality:
[ ] Hawaiian
[ ] Popolo
[ ] Japanese
[ ] Filipino
[ ] Haole
[ ] Portagee if yes; explain why:
[ ] Pake if yes; explain why:
[ ] All da above
Numba of children living in household: ______
Numba of children living in your household das
not yours: _____
Numba of children thats buming off of you das
over 23 years old: _______
Mother's Name:
_______________________(Relation__________)
Father's Name:
_______________________(Relation__________)
Edumacation: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade
completed)
If you obtained one higher edumacation what was
your major?
[ ] 5th grade
[ ] 6th grade
Cawheelas you own and where dey
stay:________________
___ Total number of cawheelas you own
___ Numba of cawheelas that still crank ova
___ Numba of cawheelas wit rust
___ Numba of cawheelas no mo rust
___ Numba of cawheelas on cement blocks
___ Numba of cawheelas stay held together with
duct tape.
Age you started fo drive ______ (If over 10 slow
learner?)
[ ]Yes [ ]No
Do you have a surf rack? [ ] Yes [ ] No; If no,
try explain:
Color of teeth:
[ ] Yellow [ ] Brownish-Yellow
[ ] Brown [ ] Black
[ ] N/A
How far is your home from a paved road?
[ ] 1 miles
[ ] 2 miles
[ ] don't know
Distance between you and da beach? ______
Do you live on beach front property but you don't
own a house or the land?
___ Yes
Try explain:
How many times have you gotten away with a DUI
this year
because you were related to da policeman? ____
How much pakalolo do you smoke a day?
[ ] 1 joint [ ] 2 joints [ ] would smoke but cost
more den gold.
How much beer do you drink a day?
[ ] 6 pack [ ] 12 pack [ ] 18 pack [ ] case
How do you know that you had too much to drink?
[ ] You fall out da car when da policeman opens
da ca door.
[ ] Da keg is empty.
[ ] You Haole but your eyes look like de from one
Japanese.
[ ] Last time you went bathroom da toilet wen
ovahflo.
[ ] All of the above.
You tired walk and carry your surfboard all da
way back and forth every day?
___ Yes
You like get one wallet so you can put da driver
license inside for impress your friends?
___ Yes ___ No ___ Always
You promise fo drive straight and smile to all da
ada drivers and no fool around and make funny
kine in da car?
___ Yes ___ No ___ Why
Sign Hea:____________________________
Read many more very good stories at the links above!.
Sharing, laughing, remembering....
Talk Story bookstore in the town of Hanapepe on the Hawaiian island of Kauai. Talk Story is actually the western-most bookstore in the United States, a fact the owner proudly shares with visitors along with a hearty helping of aloha spirit.
Talk Story is where Old Yoshiura Store used to be, and specializes in used, rare, and collectible books. Visit online! Talk Story